Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
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