he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
