Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
