I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
