Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
