My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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