grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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