Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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