Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
