Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
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I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
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I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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