a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
