i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize