I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
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My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
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Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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