2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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