I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
