You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
A+ Viking dick
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
