Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
