I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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