I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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