my vag is so smooth its legendary
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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