This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
