i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
