Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
