Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Did I show you my penis last night?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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