It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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