I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
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