is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
