Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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