2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
