Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
There r osticjed everywhere
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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