he wants to bone in the snuggie
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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