Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
