So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
