Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
