Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
