WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Randomize
