You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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