I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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