Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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