the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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