he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
