I want to stick my p in your. b.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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