She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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