she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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