She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
being pregnant is like rehab
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I am naked and annoyed.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
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