Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.

(650): View more from California

I tried to assassinate the ginger baby

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(650): There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide. (650): I tried to assassinate the ginger baby http://tfl.nu/c72u

Replies (28) Good night (1918) Bad night (956)
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(714): View more from California

But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.

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(714): But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out. http://tfl.nu/5n0s

Replies (11) Good night (673) Bad night (1149)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!

(1-919): View more from North Carolina

No. You're kidding.

(919): View more from North Carolina

I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.

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(919): OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto! (1-919): No. You're kidding. (919): I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth. http://tfl.nu/fp67

Replies (37) Good night (768) Bad night (1234)
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(909): View more from California

Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass

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(909): Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass http://tfl.nu/8d1b

Replies (19) Good night (822) Bad night (4568)
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(309): View more from Illinois

So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.

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(309): So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar. http://tfl.nu/wvqn

Replies (20) Good night (7031) Bad night (1083)
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(301): View more from Maryland

She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....

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(301): She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice.... http://tfl.nu/0ncm

Replies (10) Good night (5948) Bad night (1201)
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(678): View more from Georgia

Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.

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(678): Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date. http://tfl.nu/ovv7

Replies (3) Good night (2956) Bad night (839)
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(949): View more from California

I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.

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(949): I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation. http://tfl.nu/uflu

Replies (4) Good night (3224) Bad night (1126)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"

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(617): We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?" http://tfl.nu/sgk0

Replies (18) Good night (990) Bad night (4872)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night

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(814): it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night http://tfl.nu/ia2t

Replies (4) Good night (2962) Bad night (840)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s

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(402): Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s http://tfl.nu/nt41

Replies (5) Good night (1981) Bad night (688)
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(805): View more from California

Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?

(313): View more from Michigan

Everything hurts.

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(805): Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all? (313): Everything hurts. http://tfl.nu/wajp

Replies (10) Good night (1717) Bad night (543)
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(425): View more from Washington

Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.

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(425): Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes. http://tfl.nu/8scq

Replies (2) Good night (425) Bad night (399)
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(360): View more from Washington

Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.

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(360): Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void. http://tfl.nu/6brj

Replies (1) Good night (301) Bad night (495)
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(613): View more from Ontario

I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon

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(613): I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon http://tfl.nu/93lu

Replies (2) Good night (577) Bad night (223)

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