break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
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she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
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Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.