Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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