She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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