Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize