turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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