He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
