she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
