did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Be still, my beating vagina.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
