Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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