i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
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