Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
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i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Come share oat with me in your robe
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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