that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
