he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
