Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Randomize
